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最美大课间比赛作文

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最美大课间比赛作文

In the morning 7:40 when, the playground uploads come to a musical sound ah, it is we should film between the most beautiful a lecture given to a large number of students, I immediately happy rise.

早上7:40时,操场上传来一阵阵音乐声啊,是我们要拍摄最美大课间了,我立刻开心了起来。

Above all head on and the children that those who come is 2 grade, they are taking orderly step, the pants that wearing shining white clothes and big red is taking each to be wrapped dene in the hand. Ground of their one after another follows, also did not stay momently. What go head on now is the little little sisters of little little brother of 3 grade, they are wearing white glove, still taking on the hand, skip of a root, time gradually prediction of a person's luck in a given year.

首先迎面而来的是二年级的小朋友们,他们走着整齐的步伐,穿着白花花的衣裳和大红色的裤子手里拿着一个个沙包。他们一个接一个地跟着,一刻也没有停留。现在迎面走来的是三年级的小弟弟小妹妹们了,他们戴着白色的手套,手上还拿着,一根根跳绳,时间渐渐流失。

Abrupt compere calls us 41, we are incompact not slow went. Classmates skip repeatedly belt jump we are taking key child went up track. Classmates slowly running, also did not stay momently, do when holding, we are calling just a little of orderly buccal good number 34, 2234 ” . Lasted to make drill time so. Hold finished we take shuttlecock at once. Surrounded greatly circle. The schoolboy surrounded schoolgirl of a circle to surround a circle. We with respect to kick up shuttlecock. We were kicked probably 5 minutes returned original formation, I am noting the movement of summerly teacher, the teacher mentioned when a thumb returns a classroom, the teacher said your dishy! The noise in the classroom removed an applause.

突然主持人叫到我们四一班,我们不紧不慢的走了下去。同学们连蹦带跳的我们拿着键子上了跑道。同学们慢慢的跑着,一刻也没有停留,做操时我们喊着整齐的口好号一二三四,二二三四”。就这样持续了做操的时间。操做完了我们连忙把毽子拿起来。围成了一个大大的圆圈。男生围一个圈女生围了一个圈儿。我们就踢起了毽子。我们踢了大概五分钟就回到了原来的队形,我注意着夏老师的动作,老师提起了一个大拇指回到教室的时候,老师说了一句你们真棒!教室里响起了一阵阵掌声。

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导师点评:

The article around class collective activity, this content between the most beautiful a lecture given to a large number of students undertakes transcribe narrate. Sheet of begin Duan Jian is clear, choose bright target directly, said the subject of the story. Said the main state of the spot when transcribe then, used picture of a lot of details to give a person the picture sense with special vivid figure. Whole article brought a lot of interesting instants to us, wonderful stimulate again. Described the main condition that our class enters the court finally. Very pretty good. Whole article content is true and interesting, the stage of arrangement is very sound also. Insufficient place is can not undertake narrative orderly according to a sound logic. Begin is terminal paragraph did not form coordinate. Last paragraphs also did not make clear point out theme.

本文围绕班级集体活动,录制最美大课间这个内容进行叙述。开头段简单明了,直接点明对象,说了故事的主题。接着说了录制时现场的主要状况,用了很多细节描写给人非常形象生动的画面感。整篇文章给我们带来了很多有趣的瞬间,精彩又刺激。最后描述了我们班上场的主要情形。非常不错。整篇文章内容真实有趣,安排的段落也很合理。不足的地方是没有能够按照一个合理的逻辑顺序进行叙述。开头结尾段没有形成照应。最后一段也没有明确点明主题。